BandAids for the heart

Monday, January 23, 2006

may bago akong favorite song.. ang title nya ay "I could not ask for more" ang kumanta nyan ay yung kumanta din ng "i'll be". nung isang araw nilinis ko ang bintana ng bahay namin at buong puso kong kinanta ang favorite song ko na ito. At habang mangiyak ngiyak pa akong bumibirit habang sinasabon ang bintana, biglang humangin ng malakas at nahulog sa akin ang buong bintana.
grabe..tama ba yun?! bastos diba?
anyway, eto yung lyrics pero first verse lang:

lying here with you
listening to the rain
smiling just to see
the smile up on your face.
these are the moments
i thank God that I'm alive,
these are the moments
i've been waiting all my life
i've got all i've waited for
and i could not ask for more..

*************

salamat nga pala kay akeem sa mga sinend nyang pictures sa akin nung birthday ko..natouch talaga ako..
T_T (crying face yan)

*************

im not a chess player..

i was talking to a close friend the other day. and she's not in a very good situation right now. she has a big problem and she doesn't know what to do. she wrote a message comparing herself to a chess player. She said something about the king, the queen the dukes (i couldn't remember the others.. hindi nga ako marunong mag chess eh.. pasensya.) she told me that she has to think of every move. she has to plan every step. she has to predict what her opponent would do if she decides to make a particular move. para maintindihan nyo, here's how the conversation went:

friend: kng mgkmli ako ng galaw,dedo,kng baga sa chess, checkmate,alm kng klngn kng mgkmli pra ma22,pero marbino,knbkasan ko na ang pnguuspan nting nkataya d2.
Marvin: risk
friend: oo nga, ngaun ubos na mga pawn ko, klngn ko n gmitin ang rook,knight,bishop at queen..kailangang protektahan ang hari, pero pano,ubos na strategy ko.
Marvin: Isa yan sa mga pnakmlaking pgkakaiba ntn. Ur a chess player. Msydo mng iniicp ung mga galaw m at pnaplano ang mga mangyyri. Msydong plantsado angb buhay mo. Masyadong bilang. Masyadong planado. kya nagugulat ka pghnd m inaasahan ang knlalabasan. Wla akong cnsbng msma yun. Minsan try mong gumawa ng bagay na hindi pinagiicpan. Masyado kang matalino eh. Try standing at the edge of the cliff. Then pray, close your eyes, then jump...

ayun..tapos marami pang kasunod. diba may point naman ako? sa lahat kasi ng nangyari sakin, i proved that life is really unpredictable. kahit anong plano gawin mo,minsan hindi siya natutuloy. but that unpredictability also gives us hope na pwedeng may mangyaring maganda.. o sha.. nakikigamit lang ako ng laptop ni karyl. thanks. happy birthday.

_marvin_
9:30 PM

Saturday, January 21, 2006

thanks sa lahat ng nakaalala. tnx sa balloons. lalo na sa cake na walang pangalan ko. muntik pang ilagay "happy birthday obzite" buti nalang binago. hehe.. salamat tlga.

Before, birthdays are not really special for me (except that there's more food on the table and some friends would come over to eat). But I never felt anything magical. Parang ordinaryong araw lang pag birthday ko. But my 18th birthday was different. Grabe. When I woke up, I already felt this something.. Basta, I really can't explain the feeling, the atmosphere.. Then I went to my phone to check my messages. There were 26 messages na at 6 in the morning. Dun palang, medyo naiiyak na ako. Hehe. Tapos pinagluto ako ng lola ko ng pansit. My parents and my sisters called me from cavite (nasa manila nga pala ako nung fri, may pasok kasi..). Kinausap ako ng tatay ko. Sabi ko sa kanya hindi ako magpaparty kasi alam ko naman na wala sa budget. My dad told me that I really have to go to the hospital for a check-up. P5000 kasi ang halaga ng check-up ko sa puso. Instead of having a party, I'll use it there. So medyo malungkot ako. Pero ok lang naman sakin. Hehe. So I went to school at marami nanamang bumati sakin. Ang saya. On my way home, mark texted me, dumaan daw ako sa sm. At first, I was kinda hesitant kasi wala namang akong party. But still, I went. Nakita ko sila sa food court. Konti lang sila dun. I asked them where the others were. Sabi nila umuwi na. Then they asked mo to close my eyes. At that point, I knew they were up to something. Pero sabi nila joke lang. So hindi na ako umasa. But after a while, they asked me to put my head down, so I did. And when I looked up, they were all there (well, not all) with balloons and a cake. Tapos kumanta sila ng happy birthday. Take note: nasa food court kami ng sm ha. Everybody was looking. I didn't care. Ang saya ng feeling. Hehe. tapos kumain kami. tapos gumala. 3:30am na ako umuwi.

I thank God for the beauty of life. Maybe my 18th birthday was really special because I almost lost the chance of celebrating it. Mas naaapreciate ko ang mga birthdays kasi muntik na akong di makatungtong ng 18. Sabi nga ni mark, ito ang unang birthday ko sa pangalawang buhay ko. Actually, hindi ito pangalawang buhay lamang. I was spared countless times. That's why I'm so thankful. I thank God for my family who has always been there anuman ang mangyari. I thank God for my friends. I thank God for obzite. Super thankful tlga ako.

Sa inyong lahat, thanks for keeping my heart beating for the past 18 years of my existence..
And counting.

One love.

God bless you all.

_marvin_
8:37 PM

Friday, January 13, 2006

Alam ko na kung bakit malungkot ang mga sudio audience sa homeboy...

Homeboy (as in ''kaibigan usap tayo..'') invited our organization (University of the Philippines Speech Communication Association or UP SPECA) to watch their taping of the show. When that news came to me I was kind of hesitant to join them but when they told me that the PBB Big Four would be there, I started to have second thoughts. Hehe. I really wanted to see Cass. And so I went. The ABS-CBN staff picked us up near UP (sushal diba? sinundo pa kami. Nadisappoint nga ako kasi akala ko si tito boy mismo ang susundo samin). When we came there, I realized that the studio wasn't really that big. It just took a little bit of camera magic (the right angle I mean) to make it look spacious. It wasn't that clean and either. Ang init pa nga e. Now I know how that showbiz industry looks in between takes. Grabe, yung episodes for one whole week ay isang araw lang shinoo-shoot. Tito Boy just changes his clothes after each episode. Before, I was wondering why the studio audience and the guests were not very lively as compared to the audience of Oprah. Kala ko kulang lang sila sa vitamins. Yun naman pala alas tres na ng madaling araw kasi natatapos ang shooting. Aba! Grabe naman. Nakakapagod talaga. Galit na galit pa yung floor manager pag hindi ka pumapalakpak. Nandidilat sila ng mata pag hindi pa namamaga ang kamay mo sa kakapalakpak. Gusto pa yatang talbugan yung beautiful eyes ko sa pandidilat. Well, anyway, I got to see Cass. She is so pretty. Tindi na! grabe talaga. Syempre I failed to hide the jologs side of me at nagpapaicure pa ako. I'll post it one time if I'd have the chance.. hehe..

**********************

Paul celebrated his birthday. It wasn't a typical birthday celebration. Ang saya talaga. Tindi na. That day seemed to be a portal that took us back to some 12 months ago. When we I entered his room, I saw pictures on the wall; it showed the most memorable days of our obzite lives: CAT, cheering, field trip (super taba ko talaga dati), retreat and just the normal day at school. On the other side of the wall, posted are pictures of everybody doing their usual stuff back then. I looked at the monitor of the pc, I saw karl waving at me (via webcam) For a moment, I felt I was going to cry (syempre chika lang..para lang mag mukang madrama ang post na ito..). Then I looked around. I saw everybody. I miss high school so much. But sadly, some things change. We don't have the same schedule; we don't go to the same school. Much has really changed. But I looked again. I noticed that there were food on the table, there was a videoke machine, there was a basketball court and I saw them, doing the same things we used to do back then. Much has really changed, but there are still things that are to stay forever.

******************************

Nagtanggal na kami ng Christmas tree nung isang araw. Ako pa nga ang naatasang magligpit ng maalikabok na mga palamuti mula sa mga dahon at sanga nito. Kasing tanda ko na itong punong ito.. which means, 16 years ago siya binila. Joke lang. 18 years ago pala. Nasilayan ko dati ito nung namumukadkad pa ito sa ginto at pulang palamuti. Depende sa tema. Dati kasi Blue and silver. Isang Pasko, native ang drama nung Christmas tree, gawa sa abaka lahat ng palamuti. Pero nung nakaraang taon, medyo simple lang ang punong hindi naawawala tuwing pagsapit ng Pasko. Wala kaming mga bagong palamuti at walang tema ang mga parol. Ganun talaga sigura ang life. Haay.. Pero ok lang yun. Kahit wala siyang masyadong ilaw, kahit wala siyang masyadong decorations, kahit simple lang at luma na ang Christmas tree naming kasing tanda ko na, ok lang. Basta ang alam ko, kahit ano mangyari, may pera man o wala, tuloy parin ang Pasko.

_marvin_
6:40 AM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Gumala nanaman ang obzite kanina, which means gagala kami buong taon..

Hay naku, it's the first day of the year 2006. Last year was unbelievable. It was truly a year to be remembered for the rest of my life. Ano nga ba ang mga nangyrai sa buhay ko? Hmmm.. nagchampion ang obzite sa sportsfest, nagturo kami ng cheerdance routine, gumgraduate ako ng highschool, gumgraduate ako ng CAT as Executive officer, nanalo kami ng 5th place sa broadcasting sa RSPC, ako nagbasa ng class history ng obzite, first time ko magkablack eye, nakapasa ako sa UP, ateneo at lasal, nag enroll ako sa UP, best applicant and best performer ako sa inaplayan kong org sa UP,naipit ako sa pinto ng lrt, nagpalagay ako ng braces, nakapagpapicture kami sa tabi ni ate shawie, nakasalubong ko si tita glow, nagpabunot ako ng kilay, nagpakalbo ako at nagpa-tattoo, nagpa x-ray ako, tpos namamaga na pala ung puso ko dahil may butas pala at nahihirapan napala sha kasi hyperactive ako, tapos biniyak yung ribs ko tapos tinapalan yung butas sa puso tpos tinahi yung dibdib ko. Ngayon may pilat akong mahaba sa dibdib. Grabe dba? Ang wild. Ang exciting. Hehe. Thank God for another year.
Now that all the noise of New Year's Day has died down, let's all take time to ponder and reminisce everything that happened to us the past year. Let us remember how each moment made us laugh or cry.. These moments are vital to who we are now. Let's cherish the good times that yesterday brought and remember the lessons it taught us. The New Year is not just a celebration of another tomorrow ahead but also a celebration of what we have gone through and how we managed to survive. Let's thank God for we are truly blessed.

_marvin_
7:21 AM

Merry Cristmas and Happy New year sa lahat ng hindi ko nagreet lalo na kay Jaymee ang Karl! Belated Happy birthday nga pala kay karl.

the batch who graduated one year before us had their reunion. Sabi sakin ng nanay ko "o ano? Wag nyo sabihing magrereunion din kayo? Aba sumosobra na kayo. Halos araw-araw na kayong magkakasama sa sm tapos palagi pa kayong nag-a-outing!" Then I told myself,"sya nga naman!"
"Reunions are for people who left each other. We don’t need a reunion because we never did part."
Last Dec. 22, we had our Christmas party! Super saya. Almost everybody came. Siguro mga 5-10 lang ang wala. It was really fun! Si manoy nag-dive pa para lang makuha yung talong sa talong-game na pinrepare nila. Hehe.Ang daming may gusto nung gift na binigay ko sa exchange gift. Kahit nga ako gusto kong may magregalo saking ng ganun. Mga 5:30am na ako nakauwi. Nagstroll pa kasi kami. Kung saan saan kami nakarating.Hehe..
Nung Thursday naman, 27 yata yun, Kick-off gala for the new year naman!(sushal diba? May ganun ganun pa!!)nagtagaytay kami. Mejo konti lang kami as compared sa attendance nung Christmas party. Pero ang saya parin. Kumain kami sa bulaluhan sa may taal. Tapos kung saan saan kaming gubat kami nagsuot. Ang dumi tuloy namin. Nasira pa yung lacoste kong shoes (worth 700 lang yun.. thanks to greenhills..hehe).Then we went to ryan’s resthouse there. Ang ganda talaga nung place. As usual picture taking effects kami dun. Ang saya. Tapos sinurprise naming si sir ruel. May atraso kasi kami sa kanya. Ayun. Saya talaga. Grabe na to!

Tapos kanina, nagyaya nanaman sila. Syempre hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. Sumama din ako. Pero umuwi ako agad. Balak yata nilang mag tagaytay ulit or baywalk or malate. Ewan ko dun. I have so much to do. May raket pa ako bukas. Happy new year everyone. Treasure yesterday, cherish today and get excited for tomorrow. Let's celebrate the beauty of life and the greatness of God's love. May God bless you all.
One love.

_marvin_
7:10 AM

A b o u t _ m e - - - - - - -

I was a swimmer, a tennis and volleyball player. I was a dancer, pep squad member and stage performer. I was a team leader and CAT Executive officer. 'Hyperactive' would be an understatement if you were to describe my lifestyle.. And who would ever think that somebody like me has a congenital heart defect?

***

im marvin. im from cavite. im a speech major from upd. i love to eat, to sleep, to talk, to laugh. i love having fun. id love to meet shrek one day. marami kasing nagsasabing magkamuka kami. nakadilat na daw mga mata ko nung pinanganak ako.. mahilig ako kumain ng spaghetti, pizza, marshmallow, chicken at french fries.

***

It never occurred to me that for the past 17 years of my existence, I was at risk of having a heart failure, and my active lifestyle made the risk grow even more. That is why I thank God and His instruments here on earth - my family, obzite, my friends and the people who touched my life - for keeping my heart beating all this time..