BandAids for the heart

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

tinalikuran ko ang lahat. lumapit ako sa dulo. buong tapang na ipinikit ang mga mata at kinalumutan ko muna ang lahat. huminga ako ng malalim at nagpatihulog.

Marvin: Best, magpapahulog ako dito, saluhin mo ako.

Jep: ok.

Marvin: seryoso ako.. i trust you.

Jep: ok.

edi ayun, puro gas-gas ang legs ko at may malalim akong sugat sa paa. muntik na akong mautas. buti nalang yung upper body ko ang nasalo ni jep..

i didnt feel stupid doing it. at hindi ako nagsisisi.. kaya ko ngang ulit-ulitin yun e kung may papayag lang na sambutin ulit ako.. ok, i admit, medyo may katangahan akong ginawa asking only one person to catch me. medyo mataas talaga yung stage at medyo may kabigatan ako.. it was really a great risk to do that. imaginin nyo ha, with feelings pa akong nagpatihulog (yung parang pang cheering na hulog. yung naka-cross pa yung arms over the chest..).

i did it without any hesitation. without any fear that i might fall.

and it was great.

an inexplicable feeling overwhelmed me during that split second when i was in the air and nothing was taking in control of me but gravity.. that split-second felt like forever.. it happened so fast but whenever i think about it, i feel as if it lasted for so long that it gave me time to rest. nung nahuhulog ako, parang feeling ko nasa pelikula ako. pakiramdam ko slow motion ang pagkakahulog ko at parang may background music pa nga kong narinig. i swear. hindi ko lang matandaan kung anu yung kanta. im sure hindi "push the button" yun kasi hindi bagay sa moment. tapos ang lahat ng tao sa paligid ko ay natulala. and then i fell. pag bukas ng mata ko malapit na yung mukha ko sa sahig.buti nalang nasalo ni jep yung upper body ko (macho e..).then, the others came to pick me up from the ground. (thanks bestfriend for breaking my fall.)

pero ang saya. it was such a great feeling to just let go of everything that was bothering me and just let the Lord take control of my life. The moment was almost surreal. almost magical.

para akong nagka-selective amnesia and i just forgot about all the things that bring stress and wrinkles. and i think we all need to take that fall. to take a little rest. to embrace the peace of nothingess. to do things without the fear of its consequences. to forget and just enjoy the serenity of being free..

"When life pushes you to the end of the cliff and you know you can't do anything, just trust Him. Close your eyes and let go. There are only two things that would happen to you: it's either He will catch you when you fall, or He will teach you how to fly."

so go ahead.. fall.
Just Trust Him.
God's day.
***
pic from paul putong.thanks.

_marvin_
12:03 AM

A b o u t _ m e - - - - - - -

I was a swimmer, a tennis and volleyball player. I was a dancer, pep squad member and stage performer. I was a team leader and CAT Executive officer. 'Hyperactive' would be an understatement if you were to describe my lifestyle.. And who would ever think that somebody like me has a congenital heart defect?

***

im marvin. im from cavite. im a speech major from upd. i love to eat, to sleep, to talk, to laugh. i love having fun. id love to meet shrek one day. marami kasing nagsasabing magkamuka kami. nakadilat na daw mga mata ko nung pinanganak ako.. mahilig ako kumain ng spaghetti, pizza, marshmallow, chicken at french fries.

***

It never occurred to me that for the past 17 years of my existence, I was at risk of having a heart failure, and my active lifestyle made the risk grow even more. That is why I thank God and His instruments here on earth - my family, obzite, my friends and the people who touched my life - for keeping my heart beating all this time..